![]() ![]() He usually figures in no more than a few minutes of each episode, with the remainder depicting vignettes about the characters he's delivered to. The show follows a marijuana dealer known only as The Guy as he delivers his product to a wide assortment of characters in New York City. Not be too overt, and ultimately not take up too much space.Ī certain invisibility was required, even in an online dating space.High Maintenance is a Slice of Life comedy-drama anthology series that aired from 2012-2015 as a Web Original series on Vimeo, and from 2016 to 2020 as a TV series on HBO. It hardened feminine mainstays that a woman is required to smile and make nice. Ultimately, the “high-maintenance” woman was too much to handle – which confirmed known stereotypes that women are expected to be quiet, subservient, opinion-less, and always amenable. In effect, not making any of the demands, which are the necessary requirements for an intimacy based on relations of equality and mutuality. It seemed to describe the multitude of ways women reign themselves in to appease men: not complaining, not demanding too much, not expressing needs, not having expectations for emotional openness or fulfilment. Hidden behind this seemingly insignificant, even innocuous statement, was something far more sinister. In effect women had to portray themselves as naturally pretty, capable, expectation-less, fun-loving, and, most importantly, easy-going. Physical attributes, or ways of presenting oneself, were also often conflated with personal behaviours and expectations. Women might feel most comfortable in track-pants, but they put festival photos on their dating app profiles. Female participants felt the urge to look pretty, but also not so pretty that they might scare prospective matches off. Here, the line was between sexiness and effortlessness. Too fat or too thin too clever or too stupid too free or too restricted. It is distinctly pervasive for girls and young women who are generally represented as having (or being) too little or too much. This kind of identity management is nothing new, particularly on social media. When it comes to dating advice, why is it always women who must improve? ![]() There is that pressure that you need to look friendly enough, but pretty enough, but not too friendly at the same time. So I guess at the same time, people aren’t intimidated to approach you. My everyday look is an oversized tee and very comfy clothes, but on my profile there’s the festival picture where I’m obviously done up and there are two other photos where I’m with friends I did feel the pressure where you should at least look pretty, but at the same time you need to look relatable. There was a kind of effortless, pretty, nonchalance required: The need to appear attractive and yet not high-maintenance meant women had to conduct a balancing act. Women on dating apps try to make themselves look attractive, but not ‘too much’. They didn’t want to “intimidate” a potential match through their images and behaviour.Īs one female participant indicated, a high-maintenance woman expected too much. Women within my research sought to present themselves as “pretty” but “relatable”. There are plenty of super attractive girls on dating apps but I mean, I can’t afford that sort of thing. There was a labour involved in dating her, and therefore, a financial burden. She wanted things, and expected a high standard. ![]() Once tarnished with the high-maintenance brush, it was difficult to be perceived as otherwise.īehaviourally, she was perceived as difficult. She would be pouting at the camera Instagram-style, or toting an expensive handbag. She would be dressed for a party (or “going out”). In her profile photos, the high-maintenance “girl” (as she was often described by the men and women in my research), was likely wearing “too much” make-up, or form-fitting clothes. “High-maintenance” was a slippery and yet sticky category defined by physical and behavioural characteristics. What does ‘high-maintenance’ mean on dating apps? You can't have a Hollywood meet cute on a dating app - but is that such a bad thing? Women looked to develop profiles which conveyed them as “not high-maintenance.” Conversely, women sought to portray themselves against a cultural idea. ![]()
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